Barrett Fletcher, wearing a metal colander on his head, opened the Kenai Peninsula Assembly meeting on Tuesday with a tongue-and-cheek prayer, full of meatball and noodle puns, as the official invocation.
“We are gathered here to do the business of our Kenai Peninsula Borough. We make the rules of behavior and property, levy taxes and determine how to disperse them wisely, fund education, waste management, law enforcement, transportation, and health. All in an attempt to settle disputes.
“A few of the assembly members seem to feel that they can’t do this work without being overseen by a higher authority.”
“So, I’m called to invoke the power of the true creator of the universe, the drunken tollerator of all lesser and more recent gods, and maintainer of gravity here on earth. May the great Flying Spaghetti Monster rouse himself from his stupor and let his noodly appendages ground each assembly member in their seats.
“May he help them to easily acquit each of these tasks, avoiding any pettiness and irrelevant disagreement. May he provide each of them satisfaction in the perception of accomplishment and an ample supply of their favorite beverage at the end of this meeting.“
He closed his remarks with the word, “Ramen.”
The Kenai Borough Assembly was sued by members of a Satanic organization for limiting invocations to traditional churches with an actual presence on the Kenai Peninsula. Iris Fontana and the ACLU defended her right to give an invocation in the name of Satan, which she has done, ending her prayers with the phrase, “Hail, Satan,” while members of the audience and the borough assembly either sat uncomfortably or walked out.
Since the court ruled in favor of Fontana and the ACLU, other nontraditional groups have signed up to give the invocation, which includes the “Pastafarian” Fletcher.
Mayor Charlie Pierce arrived at the meeting after the invocation was finished on Tuesday, and walked passed Fletcher as he left, still wearing the colander.
The Assembly has made the determination to continue the invocation policy, in spite of the fact that event has become a farce. Some assembly members are trying to make a point that there is no higher order.