Church of Flying Spaghetti Monster invocation opens Kenai Assembly meeting - Must Read Alaska
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Monday, October 14, 2019
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Church of Flying Spaghetti Monster invocation opens Kenai Assembly meeting

Barrett Fletcher, wearing a metal colander on his head, opened the Kenai Peninsula Assembly meeting on Tuesday with a tongue-and-cheek prayer, full of meatball and noodle puns, as the official invocation.

“We are gathered here to do the business of our Kenai Peninsula Borough. We make the rules of behavior and property, levy taxes and determine how to disperse them wisely, fund education, waste management, law enforcement, transportation, and health. All in an attempt to settle disputes.

A few of the assembly members seem to feel that they can’t do this work without being overseen by a higher authority.”

“So, I’m called to invoke the power of the true creator of the universe, the drunken tollerator of all lesser and more recent gods, and maintainer of gravity here on earth. May the great Flying Spaghetti Monster rouse himself from his stupor and let his noodly appendages ground each assembly member in their seats.

“May he help them to easily acquit each of these tasks, avoiding any pettiness and irrelevant disagreement. May he provide each of them satisfaction in the perception of accomplishment and an ample supply of their favorite beverage at the end of this meeting.

He closed his remarks with the word, “Ramen.”  

The Kenai Borough Assembly was sued by members of a Satanic organization for limiting invocations to traditional churches with an actual presence on the Kenai Peninsula. Iris Fontana and the ACLU defended her right to give an invocation in the name of Satan, which she has done, ending her prayers with the phrase, “Hail, Satan,” while members of the audience and the borough assembly either sat uncomfortably or walked out.

Since the court ruled in favor of Fontana and the ACLU, other nontraditional groups have signed up to give the invocation, which includes the “Pastafarian” Fletcher.

Mayor Charlie Pierce arrived at the meeting after the invocation was finished on Tuesday, and walked passed Fletcher as he left, still wearing the colander.

The Assembly has made the determination to continue the invocation policy, in spite of the fact that event has become a farce. Some assembly members are trying to make a point that there is no higher order.

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Suzanne Downing had careers in business and journalism before serving as the Director of Faith and Community-based Initiatives for Florida Gov. Jeb Bush and returning to Alaska to serve as speechwriter for Gov. Sean Parnell. Born on the Oregon coast, she moved to Alaska in 1969.

Latest comments

  • Kenai Borough Assembly has become such a joke they should just do away with the invocation. What is it accomplishing, anyway.

  • This nonsense just shows how pathetic and child like these ‘meetings’. Have become. Apparently you can wear a strainer on your head, talk like a teenager, and end it with Ramen. Grow up Soldotna… When we lived there this was getting out of control. Isn’t this supposed to be a professional building? Or have they given up completly? Shows me how many Leftists have snuck into Alaska…

  • This may not be as innocuous as some may think. A quick check of Wikipedia reveals the following: “Pastafarianism (a portmanteau of pasta and Rastafarianism) is a social movement that promotes a light-hearted view of religion and opposes the teaching of intelligent design and creationism in public schools.” A related entry digs a little further: “The Flying Spaghetti Monster (FSM) was created by Bobby Henderson in an open letter to the Kansas State Board of Education in which he parodied the concept of intelligent design.” In other words, it’s not that far removed from the Satanists. Getting enough publicity for their respective movements to where they can expose their message is far more important than the invocation itself or what it may say.

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