Can’t make this stuff up: Embarrassed by his Tesla, liberal considers selling it or remaining a hypocrite

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An opinion published in the Los Angeles Times reveals the angst experienced by environmentalists who bought Teslas, and who now suffer from embarrassment because Tesla founder Elon Musk has since transformed social media giant Twitter into a free-speech zone. These liberal elites now find it awkward to own a Tesla — and not because of the contracts Tesla has with China to supply rare minerals such as Lithium, but because of Elon Musk, who has purchased Twitter and describes it as having purchased a “crime scene,” due to its collaboration with the government to suppress speech.

To understand more about these tortured liberal owners of Teslas, and how they process information, we’ve excerpted John Blumenthal’s op-ed, which was evidently scribed in complete seriousness. In italics throughout his essay, we’ve excerpted Blumenthal’s own biography, in order to help the reader understand the lens through which elite mainstream writers view the world and their distain for American values:

“A few years ago, I bought a used Tesla, not because I’m a car nut but because I had been a hypocrite. For years, I had been outspoken about the dangers of carbon emissions. Yet at the same time, I was driving an old gas-powered heap that got about 25 miles per gallon, and that sounded like a rocket launch every time I turned on the ignition,” Blumenthal starts out in his op-ed.

Introverted and admittedly somewhat lazy by nature, John Blumenthal decided to become an author at the age of 9 when he realized he could do it at home. “An early influence was Mark Twain, who often wrote in bed in his pajamas,” he says. “Very civilized. More importantly, I loved the wry humor in much of his writing.”

“The car was impractical, but it had sentimental value. My environmental activist friends were not impressed by my assiduous urban composting, LED bulb installations and energy-saving appliances. I needed to do more to diminish my carbon footprint. The icebergs were melting, my friends said, and at least one polar bear was wandering around homeless and hungry because of me,” he writes, with an attempt at self-deprecating reflection.

John was born in Middletown, NY, the son of a physician and a stay-at-home mom. He attended Tufts University where he majored in English, with a minor in Not-Being-Drafted-And-Sent-To-Vietnam.

“Many insisted that Teslas were the best for the environment. Pricey but worth it. So I said goodbye to my gas guzzler and made the leap,” the writer continues.

After college, John became a whale’s tooth polisher (true) for a scrimshaw carver on Nantucket Island. It was during this Melville-esque dental hygiene career that he wrote a humorous, self-deprecating letter to the editor of Esquire and was hired as a fact checker. Later, he took a job as a writer/editor at Playboy magazine.

“Someone once said that Teslas are smartphones on wheels, so for an adult like me who suffers from technical issues, sitting in the driver’s seat for the first time was like trying to master calculus after failing algebra. Where was the ignition? How do you make the thing move? What’s a fob? It took a few weeks to figure out the essentials, but I started to feel some real affection for the car’s sleek design and bells and whistles. But that feeling was short lived,” Blumenthal whines to the Los Angeles readers. The reader might be thinking that writing is clearly a lucrative career, if such a person can live in Santa Monica and drive a Tesla.

“Because of the recent revelation of Elon Musk’s political views — all of which I abhor — I’m starting to worry about what sort of political statement the car is making. Will people see me as a symbol of right-wing environmentalism, a living oxymoron?” he writes.

Blumenthal must be expressing his wit at this point. He cannot be serious. This is not the choice of Agamemnon in The Odyssey, who faces the decision of whether or not to sacrifice his daughter to the goddess Artemis, so that the goddess will blow wind for Greek warships to get to Troy. With that decision, Agamemnon would either lose his daughter or lose the war. He sacrificed his daughter. With Blumenthal, we’re talking about firing up a battery to get to Whole Foods. Why not go with a electric bike? Oh, because it’s really about social status…

“When I bought the car, I had no real opinion on Musk’s somewhat clouded political beliefs. Now that Musk has apparently swung to the far right — banning journalists from Twitter while reinstating neo-Nazis — I’m horrified to be associated with his brand whenever I drive anywhere,” he writes.

Horrified to be driving a Tesla? This is going to be a problem for him in Los Angeles. His friend might shun him.

John lives in Santa Monica, CA with his wife and an adorable but not very bright canine. He has two delightful adult daughters. Between his last two novels, he wrote regularly for The Huffington Post, producing over 100 articles in five years. Other short pieces have appeared in Esquire, Playboy, Punch, American Woman, Publishers’ Weekly, Oui, TV Guide and Salon.

“What is Musk up to with this acquisition and destruction of Twitter? Publicity? Political power? It’s certainly not a financial strategy. If there’s one demographic that is unlikely to buy a Tesla, it’s the  climate change deniers and anti-science voices he’s been cozying up to,” Blumenthal continues. Then he goes in for the kill, calling conservatives Nazis and other names:

“Musk has turned Twitter into an unsupervised playground for neo-Nazis and other random hatemongers and wackadoodle QAnon followers, embraced everything Trumpian and responded tepidly to Kanye West’s outrageous flirtation with Hitler. As if all that weren’t enough, Musk’s heartless treatment of his Twitter employees — a pre-Christmas firing with no severance pay — was downright Dickensian.”

Undeterred by the fact that by buying a Tesla, he has already deprived a traditional combustion-engine auto mechanic of his livelihood, Blumenthal pours out his tortured conscience into the newsprint of a dying medium:

“Given Musk’s political descent into the dark side, I wonder whether I should sell my Tesla as a form of protest. How would that adversely affect Musk? Not at all, really. The sale of a used Tesla would hardly cause a blip for the company. Even if I were part of a vast movement, and many other politically aware would-be Tesla owners opted for other, newer EVs, would a blow to Tesla stock really change anything about Musk’s politics? There would be collateral damage. How many people would lose their jobs if people stopped buying Teslas?”

Why do I write? Partly because I have a compulsive need to express myself, partly because I don’t have to commute and partly because I’m not much good at anything else.

Alas, Blumenthal then runs out of ideas, and so repeats himself. All this public hand-wringing and self-flagellation helps the rest of us understand how first-world wealthy liberals are suffering terribly and unjustly by Twitter’s new ownership:

“I don’t know whether to sell, but I do know that I’m just not as comfortable driving it anymore,” he anguishes.

“It’s a beautifully designed car with no carbon emission, and initially, I was proud of owning it and being seen driving a vehicle that displayed my concern for the environment. But I’m a liberal, and if Musk’s politics don’t change radically for the better, driving a Tesla will become, at least for me, as hypocritical and untenable as driving a gas guzzler was,” he concludes.

In 2020, Blumenthal published an equally tortured op-ed in the New York Daily News, “How I plan to survive utter despair if Trump steals the election.”

You cannot make this stuff up.

Blumenthal’s op-ed was found at the Los Angeles Times; his autobiography is found in complete form at his website.

47 COMMENTS

  1. My (politically) wayward son has owned two Teslas, and he really loves driving them, but he is now suffering angst. I suppose it didn’t help that I recently told him that Musk was my favorite oligarch. Since the Twitter takeover he no longer talks about his car, and my daughter-in-law and grandchildren refuse to be seen riding in it.

    • Wow the left is sick. 2 of my 4 are liberal, blame America 1st people. One is gay & VERY liberal.
      To each his own.
      Maybe we can get good deals on Teslas as the Left dumps them for no good reason.

    • Could it be that conservatives have more money.?.?

      Could it be that Elon realized he was marketing to the wrong political force.

      Possibly conservatives have more money than liberals to buy expensive cars with.

      One thing I do know is liberals are so opinionated and self righteous that a conservative can’t even have a logical discussion with them without them flipping out. I have experienced this many times. Very bizarre and illogical on their part.

      Love Elon he makes good products This conservative will hold onto my Tesla stock. Might even buy more.

  2. These liberals are too worried about what their peers think about them. They live in a constant state of herd mentality.

  3. Could be a great market for “My other car is a Tesla” decals… maybe a short bit of extension cord peeking out behind the gas cap…

    • “……..Liberalism, like poverty, is a mental disease……”
      Which came first?: the mental illness, or the liberalism? Which caused which? Chicken/Egg.
      We are seeing mass psychosis in full display, and it has been created in this society by the media. And we are nowhere near the beginning of the mental therapy needed to cure us. In fact, we are currently in mental/spiritual free fall.

  4. Amazing Blumenthal has done well enough to even have the luxuries he enjoyed, given he really is not very intelligent. I doubt he can even formulate an argument for what he believes as it appears his belief system is only girded by his peers and his leftist, equally unintelligent, community. Classic herd mentality as stated by Lawrence William above. And then of course these people vote.

  5. My God if they put this much energy into actually accomplising SOMETHING it would be amazing.
    They continue to be tortured by their own game they created for themselves in California. Glad most the rest of us can look beyond and see…
    They are so hindered by their own hate and manipulation and Feelings they can’t do anything real. Other than sit and whine about a social media site and their dumb electric failing cars. Whaaaaaa Whaaaaaa.
    Get a life people.

    • Accomplishing something? They have completely taken over the election process. They have completely taken over the judiciary. They’ve even taken over a good part of the GOP. What have Republicans accomplished recently? Dumping more billions into Ukraine for money laundering? Helping to pass spending bills with 4000+ pages of anti-conservative mandates? Sad, but true. – M.John

  6. So correct saying “you can’t make this stuff up”
    “Zero carbon emissions” -laughable in its own accords.
    Angry at a person who in all reality, put a damper on the burning of books.
    How is the selective censoring pre Elon any different?

  7. Laying in bed in one’s pajamas all day is the very opposite of civilized, and childish as well. In this life there are only two kinds of people, producers and non-producers. God made this truth very clear to Adam and Eve before He expelled them from His Garden. Upon departing this life, these layabouts and shirkers will surely be called to account.

  8. Kind of like when a bunch of conservatives stopped watching football because people were kneeling. Many have still not gone back to watching football. Worthless virtue signaling is a feature of both sides of the political spectrum.

    • And i hope the mostly men viewers not returned. Their place is’nt in front of a t.v, its
      sitting at the city gates or church meetings. The only time a man should watch a game is its their child’s game.

  9. The best bumper sticker I ever saw was on the back of a Nissan Leaf EV running up I-15 in Salt Lake City- “POWERED BY COAL”!!

    The thing these EV adherents consistently miss is that they are NOT reducing their “carbon footprint” by driving an EV, they are shifting where the carbon usage happens. They are also not acknowledging that the TOTAL carbon footprint for manufacturing their car plus the footprint of using the car through its life either equals or exceeds that of a “fossil fueled” car, meaning all of this effort is useless in the big picture.
    For the idiots who have Tesla cars and want to take a ideological stand against Musk, don’t sell your car, this only transfers the ideology to someone else, if you are really committed, DESTROY IT!!
    Question is, how committed are you?

    • Absolutely wrong. After about 1.5 years, the total emissions from an EV from the manufacturing process are exceeded by ICE vehicles. This has been well documented and takes only a cursory amount of research to discover for yourself.

      • Interesting that you talk about manufacturing process compared to tailpipe emissions. What about the emissions from charging the car? Or does the electricity used for that come from unicorn farts?
        .
        Talk about the total lifetime impact of both vehicles. Do not selectively decide to ignore any aspect of the overall lifecycle impact. Doing so is disingenuous at best, and lying at worst. Mining and material extraction, manufacturing, use, and disposal. Comparing use of internal combustion engines to environmental impact of manufacturing an electric vehicle is laughable.

  10. People often don’t let ideologies overcome practicalities; like all the liberals who claimed they would move from the US if Trump won. None of them moved so far as I know.

    I had a relative who became caught up on a large, well-known Christian sect, and for a time that sect believed the end of the world was coming at a date certain (now long past). He had a wonderful little Case crawler and I got word to him I would like to buy it. After all, if the world was ending he wouldn’t need the crawler. But it was a bridge too far for that Christian and he kept his crawler.

  11. I sure the author still believes that the Hunter Biden laptop is Russian disinformation. After all, 51 intelligence folks said so. As for suspending ‘journalists’ that were doxxing Musk and his family, they had it coming. The liberals constant reference to QAnon and other so called white supremacists groups is nothing more than a distraction from their own misdeeds. I haven’t seen a whole lot of white supremacists looting, car jacking, committing random assaults, smash and grabs, and destroying public facilities and private property. And stealing elections. Elections used to be how we changed course in America. The Democrats and the FBI have put that recourse in serious jeopardy. Scary times for the Republic.

  12. Who wrote this article? I mean, literally, who is the “guest contributor”? It seems the author is usually identified in these pieces. And why did you publish it, Suzanne? The original writing in it just goes on to attack a single individual, which is something you asked your readers to not do in comments–seems to violate that spirit vigorously and wholeheartedly.

    All of that said, there is some very serious hand wringing going on that Elon should be worried about–the board at Tesla and many of its stockholders are very worried, so there is a real story here. Of course the article failed to capture it as Elon is now the poster boy of “owning the libs,”, but that’s not going to help two of his commercial enterprises. Further, now that all of the major automakers and several niche/boutique automakers are offering electric vehicles, it is a significant concern for Tesla that their CEO is driving away what is likely more than 80% of his market audience. And Twitter is about doomed from the advertisers that are backing away. My fellow MRAK readers may be celebrating this liberal’s anguish, but they are putting blinders on the actual issue at hand.

    • MRAK Fan, as you can see, the column is essentially John Blumenthal’s written ideas interspersed with his own description of himself and his life. It is presented as a “column,” and is commentary on ideas presented and there is no attacking of him as a person. Most readers understand this. I’m sorry you do not, but I’m glad you find it interesting enough to comment on. That is why I published it. You may view it as an editorial column, if that helps. – sd

    • Who cares who wrote it?
      What difference does that make? Will the text mean something different if you like the author? Or will you just dismiss every point made if you do not like the author?
      .
      Read the column, and take the text as written.

  13. My Friend from Latvia says democrats aren’t liberal or democratic; they are autocratic. I not only find that observation not only accurate, but also interesting as a view from an “outsider”.

  14. Sorry, poor misguided leftist, but even if you sell your Tesla, you are still going to be a hypocrite. Because hypocrisy is integral to the radical leftist mindset and mentality.

  15. Everytime I see a Tesla near me on the road, I pull out my Trump flag, wave and yell out,
    “God Bless Twitter and Elon Musk.”

  16. Elon musk is an inventor. If he does’nt use his
    unusual mind, he will get
    depressed. Tesla is just a product. it no longer just belongs to musk. Its an enterprise providing money for employees. If musk can make
    twitter as successful as electric vehicals found then twitter employees can rest in confidence their jobs are secure.

    • Furthermore this also proves dems only support businesses supporting them and
      their views. I think through twitter, musk revealed he’s real non partisan- he don’t care about your politics, he just wants to leave this earth better. Now! He just needs to know jesus, that is the only part
      missing from him.

      • “Furthermore this also proves dems only support businesses supporting them and
        their views.”
        That 👆, right there.
        .
        For the leftists, it is ALL politics and control. If you are not marching in lockstep with the leftists, you must be destroyed.

  17. “It’s a beautifully designed car with no carbon emission”. Ignorance is bliss. No carbon emission? This guy does not have a firm grasp on reality, let alone any understanding of how a car or battery is made…in short typical leftist.

  18. This guy needs to get over himself.

    But. This nonsense does illustrate why major corporations stay out of politics. Can anyone tell us the political views of the CEOs of 3M,Pepis, GM, Ford, etc.? No? That’s for a good reason. You take a point of view and you’ve just pissed off half the potential customers.

  19. I have come to the conclusion that democrats and liberals are a semi religious cult that must be avoided at all costs.

  20. Tesla makes a very good car, conflating a good car with Twitter is similar to conflating the Trump administration with good governance

    • Good point, Frank! Blumenthal is neurotic and his CPU is malfunctioning: as such, he’s much like my neighbors! If he’d smile and say good day, I’d give him a nod and mumble something to make him grin. Then I would continue on my way not giving a damn about him whatsoever! Imagine, I aced Sunday school when I was a kid and can recite the Lord’s Prayer without error–both to my credit!

      It’s not as if the word hypocrisy lacks an etymological history: it is human to be duplicitous! So, let’s laugh off Blumenthal and endorse Kevin McCarthy’s “Santos the Shameless” of New York.

      • Edit (second paragraph): “It’s not as if the word hypocrisy lacks an etymological history, and it is human to be duplicitous!”

  21. Isn’t the obvious question, “what car did he get rid of?” 25 miles per gallon is actually quite good for combined highway/city driving. The author described his previous car as an old & noisy heap of a car. He is either being disingenuous or he doesn’t know what he’s talking about.

  22. Reminds me of someone who says, repeatedly, that they refuse to take the PFD. As if we should be proud of them or something.
    Cannot think of any reason, except for virtue signaling, for refusing to take your portion of the mineral royalties. But, if they think they can get some SJW points for doing it, good on them.

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