Candidate Michael Humphrey says the Johnny the Walrus parade float was a statement in favor of all children


Michael Humphrey, a candidate for Fairbanks North Star School Board, says that protecting children shouldn’t be controversial. During the Golden Days Parade last weekend, his gigantic float, which was of an inflated walrus complete with tusks, came complete with a sign with just one word: “Johnny.”

When the judges realized that Johnny is the star character in a book by Matt Walsh that asserts gender sanity, rather than gender ideology, one judge went into grievance mode. She took to Twitter to rant and rave that neither she nor the other judge would have have voted for the walrus had they had only known.

An offended person from Ester wrote a letter to the Fairbanks News-Miner, saying that such a float has no business in the Golden Days Parade.

Welcome to politics in 2023. But Michael Humphrey, the new candidate in his first run for elected office, is not backing down. He issued a statement explaining what he intended with the float:

“This Saturday I walked with my wife and six children in the Golden Days Parade. I displayed a giant inflatable walrus with a name tag that said “Johnny”. This float was based on a bestselling kids’ book by the same name that currently sits at almost 8,000 reviews and 4.9 stars on Amazon,” Humphrey wrote.

“There was no dog whistle here – no one was hiding the ball. One of the judges commented online after they learned about the story of Johnny the Walrus that they ‘had no idea’ and ‘both feel sick.’ It’s illuminating that the intent of the judges was not to award the best float, but merely the best float with which they agreed,” Humphrey continued.

‘If they can’t expect a political float to have a political message, there’s not a lot that can be done about that. Regardless, we all had a great time and received hundreds of compliments along the route.

“Since then, the float has proven to be controversial to some, and you may be asking yourself, ‘what is the point?’ The point is to illustrate the absurdity (or if you prefer, uncertainty) of gender ideology and ensure that it does not get taught in schools.

“It is commonsense to say that we should not create an environment where girls must endure boys who believe they are girls in their bathrooms and in their sports. Schools are a place where children should learn core subjects. They are not a place to be confronted with a new values propositions from positions of authority that could very likely contradict what they are being inculcated with by their parents.

“Are there children who believe that they are the sex or gender that is opposite of how they were born? Absolutely. However, one can be both sincere and wrong. It doesn’t make them evil or less deserving of respect, it just makes them sincerely wrong. This is the Christian view and the loving view. You don’t have to be religious to realize that it also happens to be the commonsense view.

“Radical gender theory making its way into the classroom is a fundamental issue for me in this campaign, but it takes more than that to serve on the school board. I also support creating more opportunities for parental involvement in school. Homeschooled kids generally outperform their peers in public schools because the parents of homeschoolers have more of a connection to and investment in the outcomes. By and large, homeschool parents are not professional educators. Most parents can’t afford to homeschool their kids, but there is something we can do to approximate the environment. Schools need to create more opportunities for parents to volunteer. Whether it’s for special events, lunchroom or recess duty, or perhaps curriculum review, etc., the more buy-in we can get from parents in their children’s education, the more outcomes will improve.

“Another key area of concern is targeted budget control. When it comes to reducing spending and balancing the budget, nothing should be off the table. There isn’t one key item to cut. There is no panacea enacted by a single hard choice in order to keep district spending within limits. There are hundreds of hard choices, each seemingly inconsequential on their own (i.e., CEC relocation) but adding up to real savings and meaningful realignments. Reducing administrators and allowing teacher salaries adjusted for cost of living to at least keep up with inflation should be the goal. Throw in the costs associated to reach the goal of smaller class sizes and maybe only hundreds of hard choices was a underestimation.

“The bottom line is, there is nothing ‘-phobic’ going on here. There is no exclusion of individuals or calls to discriminate. All parents’ first priority should be advocating to protect their children in the best ways they know how. Pointing out that schools should be a place of academic learning and not centers of indoctrination is not controversial to the overwhelming majority of people in the Borough,” Humphrey concluded.

Since word of his Johnny the Walrus parade entry spread around the country, the author of the best-selling “Johnny the Walrus” featured the humorous event on his podcast, and the story at Must Read Alaska has been ready by thousands of people around the world, featured on the Bongino Report, The Daily Wire, and several other outlets.

You can learn more about Michael Humphrey at his campaign website.


  1. What’s good for the Walrus is good for all of use, including MRAK. Congrat’s, Suzanne, for making the big news around the world!

  2. Sine Anahita also known as Jensine Anahita also known as Martha Anahita also known as Martha Johnson and on and on and on. She may be the most poisonous and toxic person I’ve ever had the displeasure to meet.

  3. Mr. Humphrey:
    Thank you for protecting children, including trans-children, by keeping them out of harms way by the ugly perverts and Democrats. BIG donation coming to your campaign. Please consider running for Fairbanks Borough Mayor after you win a school board seat this fall.

  4. It’s a sweet day in Alaska to show our faithfulness to our families, children and common sense for the foundations of ethical and wholesome education. Hats off to this candidate.

  5. I posted this comment in Suzanne’s original article:

    In 1961 President Eisenhower, as he was leaving office, made a famous speech warning about two trends. The one that got all the attention at the time and has ever since, was about the “Military-Industrial Complex”. However the other was just as important, but has been ignored, that was the federal funding of University projects creating a “scientific-technological elite”. At the time he was focusing on the development and use of technology being influenced by government and politics, but of course this also opened the door for funding bureaucracy and political influence at the university level across the board as we can clearly see today. Government money feeds political corruption and since controlled by a bureaucracy, is not responsive to the vast majority of citizens. Once in place at the University level, it’s almost impossible to vote it out.

    People like Tania Clucas are products of left-wing establishment in Fairbanks and other University towns that are created and sponsored via the large University populations there which have been the beneficiary of so much government money in the past and now the present.

    • Thanks for reposting a great speech by a great President I had the benefit of enjoying as a child. Sadly it took many years of lackluster performance by others in that office to realize the greatness of his foresight.

      It wasnt until my three daughters attended UAF and had the experience of the lefties hatefulness Tania displays.
      The worst part of it all is the level it has reached in the University and is preached at many classes and if not followed one will be tarnished with a poor grade.
      Two graduated with degrees and the third quit and transferred out of state to obtain a degree.
      All three have a bad taste of woke ideology from that school in particular but it surely is a statewide issue. They encourage all their friends to go south and do searches on much better learning environments and are later thanked for the advice.
      The entire U of A Empire needs completely dismantled and start over with the values of the great President Eisenhower but sadly that would take a miracle that cant happen this late in the game. We cant rewrite history.

  6. This man is on fire. What a concise summary of this nonsense. This is what I tell people. You believing to be something you aren’t, doesn’t make you evil, but it still makes you wrong. It is ultimately the choice of the individual (with or without peer pressure) to go down the path of trans-whatever.

  7. Downing makes national headlines about an inflatable walrus. What the WTF has become of my state?

  8. Alaska School board candidate Humphrey had the largest oosik in the parade! Congratulations for his ingenuity!

  9. The internet brings out the best in us it seems. Anecdotally I have met interesting people and made obervations not possible or likely otherwise. Spiritually it’s like being jumped in a back alley very cordially when you are exhausted.

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