Michael Tavoliero: Murkowski was not a serious nomination, so she has no room to talk about Gaetz

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By MICHAEL TAVOLIERO

It’s a tale as old as time—or at least as old as sibling squabbles and playground spats. 

When we see and hear a child with chocolate-stained fingers blaming their sibling for the missing cake; it’s another thing entirely to see a politician pull the same trick, straight-faced, while wielding the power of high office of the United States Senate. 

When Sen. Lisa Murkowski, the woman who famously inherited her Senate seat from her father, dismisses Trump’s latest AG choice as “not a serious nomination,” it’s a masterclass in irony so rich that it should come with a health warning.

In politics, this moves up a notch (or 20) as the well-loved ad hominem attack, where logic steps aside to let character assassination shine. Of all people to bear the brunt of this strategy, none have been more consistently targeted than Donald J. Trump. In modern politics, no figure has survived such relentless, outsized character attacks. But here we are, watching Alaska’s political elite wield irony with all the finesse of a child swinging a baseball bat in the living room—everyone ducks, yet the windows still shatter.

Let’s break down Murkowski’s “serious” criteria, shall we?

She commented, “We need to have a serious attorney general… This one was not on my bingo card.” That’s a tall order from someone whose own ticket to Capitol Hill was practically printed by her dad’s office printer. 

In 2002, then-Gov. Frank Murkowski handpicked his daughter Lisa for the Senate, memorializing nepotism as the equivalent of a “serious nomination.” One can only imagine the “serious” qualifications needed: a decent family photo, good table manners, a fussy, needy and shallow persona, and the ability to dial Dad’s number in Juneau.

Let’s rewind to the beginning. Murkowski’s law career didn’t quite start with a bang; she passed the bar on her fifth attempt. This number of attempts suggests persistence, perhaps, but hardly screams “future U.S. Senator.” 

From there, she worked quietly in Anchorage before suddenly finding herself vaulted into national office thanks to a convenient appointment by her father, then-Governor Frank Murkowski. In other words, Murkowski’s political career began with a handout wrapped in a Senate seat.

Matt Gaetz, on the other hand, climbed a much different and onerous ladder. He passed the bar on his first try, won a Florida House seat in a competitive special election, and later moved up to Congress after prevailing over multiple opponents. His track record shows a genuine climb, not the gift-wrapped inheritance Murkowski enjoyed. 

The humor here practically writes itself: The senator, whose career kicked off with a “serious” bit of nepotism, now questions Gaetz’s credibility as a nominee?

Perhaps it’s best to take Murkowski’s words with a grain of irony the size of Denali. After all, in Alaska’s high-stakes political bingo, it seems you don’t need qualifications, just a well-connected father and a quip about seriousness.

The senator’s remark boils down to: “Qualifications? Meh. Family connections? Essential!” 

And when Murkowski, who occupies one of the most nepotism-infused seats in modern politics, suddenly champions seriousness in public office, it’s as if Alaska’s state motto quietly changed to “Do as I say, not as I do.”

In the end, maybe Lisa Murkowski should host a bingo night with serious qualifications on the cards: “Pass the bar (eventually),” “Have dad’s phone number,” and “Win by appointment, not by election.”

In her Alaska bingo, everyone’s a winner as long as they have the right connections.

Michael Tavoliero is a senior writer at Must Read Alaska.

90 COMMENTS

  1. > In the end, maybe Lisa Murkowski should host a bingo night with serious qualifications on the cards: “Pass the bar (eventually),” “Have dad’s phone number,” and “Win by appointment, not by election.”

    Chef’s kiss of a sentence. The Princess richly deserves all that she gets.

  2. Governor Murkowski would have been in error if he did not choose the state house representative to be Senator just because she is his daughter, after all, Lisa turned out to be a great Senator bringing in more money per capita than any other Senator and is pro choice and strong on defense spending as Senator Ted Stevens was, plus there’s the new Ice breaker, new highways with all new bridges.
    Served on many committees, highly respected among Senate Colleagues and in the last election shows up at Republican Senate headquarters with a fist full of blonde hair winning her election without RCV.

  5. Alaska and Alaskans would be better served by (D) Lisa Murkowski retiring. We have a president who going to make Alaska great again and she will try to block it.

      • If “He” is Trump, he did sign off on ANWR oil extraction. I’d place a ✅ in the “Win” column for that.

      • Well when the man is being obstructed by dems and uni party chamber of commerce members, it’s kinda hard to make great strides. I don’t expect you to comprehend as you are of that obstructionist mindset. Baaa baaa Greg the sheep follows along blindly.

  8. Despicable, I wish to never see or hear from her again, her treatment of our President goes beyond words, for the time she has spent in the Senate she has done nothing for Alaskans, she has only fattened her bank account. She must go.

  9. Gaetz will be partying like a high school student at the DOJ, or at least the girls will be of high school age at the parties. Release the ethics report from the house committee!

    • Yeah, like Gaetz would be the first senator, congressman, appointee to ever “party like a high school student” You’re sounding just like Murkowski now.

    • Not counting the Congressional investigation, which found it non-indictable, the FBI spent 3 yrs trying to hang charges onto Gaetz …. couldnt prove it so gave up!

  10. YEP, go play bingo…Murkowski. She used her role badly all these years. An embarrassment to women’s suffrage.

  11. Michael Tavoliero :your piece is a superior display of the small people of the world.
    You have been so thorough that even Lisa probably learned something from your article about herself.
    GREAT JOB

    • No. It takes Lisa at least five attempts to learn something. And even then she needs to have someone to explain it to her. She is truly a dumb …… .

        • Greg, I think you missed the point. Anyone trying to pass the Bar knows they must study and memorize a large body of material. They know where the material is located. They also use pre-exam study guides. Anyone failing to pass the test the first time is obviously unaccustomed to hard work and diligent study habits. Someone having been patronized and having advancement just handed to them their entire life fits the description.

            • It’s said that Kamala has the same Bar Examine history …during her campaign performance it was obvious she hadn’t a clue or study habit needed to even memorize the most basic info .. like what were her policies. DAH! not a stretch to assume she & Lisa are LAZY!

  12. Lisa continues to “tell” us what to do instead of listening to what we want: her telling us to vote for Ranked Choice Voting! She “serves” er “governs” like most long time politicans: with their own self interest in mind. Retire Lisa. We’ve had enough!

    • Concerned Alaskan, many of us agree with you. However, there is a large percent of Alaskans that keep re-electing Murkowski to get free stuff. She is a disgrace to the Republican party and the Democrats depend upon her for key votes to advance their leftist agenda and diminish the sovereignty of Alaska. Murkowski’s leftism and vitriol for Trump dampen his enthusiasm for helping Alaska. She is a toxic element; a symbol of Alaskan weakness.

  14. Anyone who spends enough quality time with conniving mis-representers like Chuck Schumer or Mitch McConnell is bound to get some of their evil on them. Lisa was naturally like them, and has compounded her ‘skills and abilities’ in their presence. The interests that they spend the majority of their time representing are anything but the ones they were originally elected to, or should be in truth representing. They all had the potential to be admirable.

  16. I do SO look forward to helping Lisa move on to another position, maybe in Bethel, or Kotzebue, in 2026. I’m sure that there are plenty of lawyer-y things to do in either of those locations.

  17. In the single most corrupt act in Alaska’s history, Frank appointed his daughter to his own seat. Not only had she failed the bar 4x, when she finally did pass, it was with the help of a bar study group who she then went to work for, and who went on to have to pay massive fines for GIVING THEIR STUDENTS THE ANSWERS. The appearance is, that it would have been 6 or 7x had she not enlisted the aid of a corrupt Bar Study group, who she then worked for..

    All that and she brought us RCV solely to help her get re-elected. This woman is the epitome of all that is wrong with Juneau and DC.

    • She is Frank Murkowski’s most memorable legacy. He will go down in history as instigating the most enduring negative political stigma in Alaska history. However, let’s be fair to Frank, he is not responsible for her repeated re-elections. Those are the responsibility of many of our fellow Alaskans looking for the free stuff she retrieves for them. We have problems of which she is merely a symptom.

      • Thank you, kindly, Mr. Coogan. Seems I get blamed for everything Lisa does that pisses off the Republicans. My legacy really should go much further than spawning Lisa. For instance, I personally ended the Longevity Bonus Program in Alaska, AND, I bought the first business jet to be used by an Alaska governor.

  19. Hey Lisa: Pot. Kettle. Black.

    Let’s not forget the fallout locally, namely the first of many rockets that have been strapped to Nancy Dahlstrom’s back without necessarily any regard for merit.

  20. Nancy and I love reading MRAK stories, but this is one that needs a bigger backstory. I had promised my US Senate seat to Johne Binkley if the Binkley family backed my campaign for Alaska governor in 2002. When I got elected governor, the conservative members of the Alaska Republican Party cautioned me of appointing Binkley. Primarily, because Binkley was considered more of a Democrat than a Republican. He was a personal pal of governor Tony Knowles and he campaigned hard for Knowles in 1998, in exchange for a executive seat on the Alaska Railroad Board. Nancy and I agreed that Binkley was the wrong choice for US Senator. So we waited almost two months before we announced that our daughter Lisa was getting the appointment. I strongly agree that Lisa was not qualified for Senator, but I had to cover up with something plausible after denying Binkley. Binkley tried to extract his revenge by running against me in the 2006 governors race, but an unknown start-up named Sarah Palin beat both of us. So, today we are all stuck with Lisa. And some days I regret the decision.

    • Frankie,
      You should have picked Binkley, you old fool. We wouldn’t have a halfwit lawyer in the Senate who couldn’t pass the Bar Exam, and the ADN would have folded up shop long ago.

    • What an irony. Frank Murkowski wouldn’t pick Binkley because “Binkley was more of a Democrat.” And now we have a real Democrat with Lisa Murkowski.
      .
      Frank Murkowski was never known for his intellect. And Lisa ended up shorthanded in the brains department too. Here, the apple rotted on the tree.

    • Agree that Binkley would have been a better US Senator than Lisa Murkowski. I hope the Binkleys got their money back from Frank Murkowski. Unlikely though, considering no one else did when Frank ran the Bank into the ground.

  21. WELL SAID!!! I mean, so much more could have been said, but I liked that you kept it short & sweet! Great read!

  22. We are all familiar with the objections to and dislike of Lisa Murkowski. Regardless of those complaints, know this: Matt Gaetz is a turkey and lacks both the character and legal experience to serve as Attorney General.

  23. Mr. Tavoliero very rightly reminds us that Senator Murkowski’s political foundation was based on nepotism. Frank played the role of a Dad throwing the family car keys to his eager teenager, Lisa, and telling her it’s her turn to drive. Nepotism also seems to overcome the awkwardness of starting out your big time political career having finally (!) passed the bar examination after five times at bat. Remember, we weren’t supposed to be squeamish about Kamala failing the bar just one time.

    But Senator Murkowski’s ‘manifest destiny’ career is also marked with gimmicks to get her reelected. Recall her ‘write-in’ campaign after losing her Republican primary to Joe Miller. State republicans rejected her but no matter. The instruction for the ‘write-in’ on ballots started out with stern warning about how exacting the name had to written on the ballot that evolved to broad interpretation of intent being the standard. With the state Republican Party declaring that she did not embrace a lot of their political platform and could not win the primary, another gimmick was needed. RCV was brought in and foisted on Alaskans by its own gimmick: selling it as the means to get rid of ‘dark money’. So, the good Senator can then by-pass her Party with no icky primaries to deal with. Easy peasy.

    Once these troublesome elections were dealt with Senator Murkowski has five years to do whatever she wants. Push a national law to require abortion on demand in each state, support the democrat congresswoman for the state’s only seat, play king-pin in a narrowly divided Senate, be guided by her rabid Trump Derangement Syndrome no matter what its affect on our state and on and on. The word hypocrisy is frequently used these days. It certainly applies to a lot of Senator Murkowski’s political career. But another word also could be used: ‘obtuseness’ . That in thinking her personal likes and dislikes are in any way aligned with that of Alaskans.

  24. She voted for merrick garland, a wack job and a disaster. Garland has used his position as political enforcement for the America last agenda.
    Matt is every bit as qualified, but lisa has a problem because Matt is conservative in his views. Biden got his AG and Trump should get his!!

  25. The saddest thing is that Lisa was very conservative when she first got into the senate. You would never hear Republicans putting her down, only liberals. Now it’s just the opposite. The D.C. swamp changed her.

  28. Who will replace murkowski?? She is done . Not only is she done she needs to find a new location to live. No one wants her here anymore.

    Lisa what happened to you.?? Completely unhinged…

  29. Great read. Now Murkowski obstructs anything Trump which restricts benefits for Alaska. She was always the dumbest one in the room as her legislative colleagues always said.

      • Trump’s Pebble decision saved Alaska’s coastal Fishing Communities; there is absolutely no way to remedy Tundra habatat once poisonous mining chemicals have been dumped on it …. It’s the tundra environment that accommodates the Salmon spawning grounds & the largest Salmon Fisheries in the world!
        Hey Greg what are you, a newbee to Alaska? Or just another low IQ person…. a midwit!

  30. As much as I hate to defend Lisa, she did get elected to the legislature as a House member 3 times – 1998, 2000, 2022. She was appointed to the US Senate Dec 2022.

    Her notable legislative efforts were a whopping big increase in the alcohol tax and an attempt to bring back a statewide income tax, that she worked on with her good friend Andrew Halcro. Cheers –

    • @agimark:
      Lisa won her 2022 legislative race by a narrow 100 votes over Nancy Dahlstrom. Go figure!
      Have you ever talked one on one with Lisa? Not much in the brains department. A very weak woman who seems to defy all the categorical bonafides of which she was reared on. But you know, Alaska Democrats prefer a very dumb Republican who they can control. That recipe has worked for them with Lisa for over 20 years.

      • Lisa, a Catholic who loves abortion. Lisa, a registered Republican who loves Democrat agendas. Lisa, a lawyer who couldn’t pass the Bar Exam. Lisa, a senator with TDS. Lisa, who’s husband hasn’t worked in 30 years. Lisa, a candidate who lost to Joe Miller in 2010. Lisa, who got Democrat operatives to pass RCV in Alaska just for her.
        .
        Is there anything to like about Lisa Murkowski? Seeing no hands here, why do Alaskans keeps electing this scrum?

    • Yep, her & her rino pal Halcro serving together in Juno.
      A rich daddy’s girl & a rich daddy’s boy (inherited Avis AK)
      Why do well off Republican kids always go liberal?
      Guilt I guess, for receiving family money, they didn’t work for.
      Heaven forbid we have an economy that allows others to achieve that American dream.
      BTW Andrew, where is the new ANC bus station you were working on? We’re waiting.

      • Earlier this year, People Mover announced they were moving forward on building a new transit center on the Chinook Lot at 3rd and E (displacing the Saturday Market and Fur Rondy carnival site, BTW). I never heard of backlash, but have heard that the proposed hotel at the 6th Avenue Garage was going nowhere. Lo and behold, People Mover issued a press release just the other day saying they were moving back into that space. Halcro was long gone during all those happenings. All I ever heard from his tenure was an effort to tear down the few affordable apartments downtown and replace them with vacant lots.

  34. Hey!! You have to admit that Lisa gets what she wants. Remember when she ran as a write in and went around all of the villages and passed out wrist bands with her name on them so that her name would be spelled correctly? Because if her name wasn’t spelled correctly, the vote would get thrown out. And then she recruited Scott Kendall and the ranked choice voting to get elected because she would not have been the Republican nominee otherwise. I wonder what she has planned this next election.

    • Mitch will be gone so good question Dennis; maybe what we need is term limits or Block Chain Voting for all Federal Congressional Seats… This sounds like an “Art Of The Deal” type situation … right up Trumps ball park.

  35. Took the board 5 times!!! I don’t believe this information has ever been displayed to the public. I hope she is done. Her and Senator Collins ought to retire at the same time. ASAP

  36. Does anyone else thing that it’s fair to assume that the Republican Senators that are opposing Matt Gaetz for AG have things that they are trying to HIDE? If they are afraid of transparency, they obviously have a reason.

    • Hey AK907: the story is that 70% of all senators (& house members) have stuff to hide; fortunately there are deals to be made so there will be deals made … probably not Murkowski tho ..Does anyone know what the story is behind her TDS? Did T call her one of his famous nicknames… & she couldn’t laugh it off?

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